sharing your stories and remembering your children
By Emily Carrington EPLA Editor
Sunday May 5th was Bereaved Mother’s Day; a day honoring women who have lost their children. I have to admit, when I first learned about Bereaved Mother’s Day, I wasn’t sure what I thought about it. I didn’t want a second-class Mother’s Day for all the sad ladies; I wanted a normal Mother’s Day.
But I guess that was the problem. I realize now that I will never get a normal Mother’s Day. Even after the birth of my daughter, the three little ones that preceded her would never be with me. My Mother’s Day would always be missing some very important people. I find joy, but I also know sadness.
As I learned to live with my miscarriages, I also learned to live with Bereaved Mother’s Day. Women who have lost children deserve to be honored. They are mothers, true mothers, worthy of any Mother’s Day honor. But they are not “normal” mothers; there will always be a part of them that is missing.
And as much as I longed to be a “normal” mother, I have found more comfort in realizing the truth: I am a bereaved mother. This brings me comfort because Bereaved Mother’s Day acknowledges me and my children, and it acknowledges the truth of the nature of my motherhood: I have one living child and three who I have lost. My children are real, their death was real, and my grief is real.
Emily Carrington is the founder of the EPLA and mother to four children.