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By: Maria Servold EPLA Editor Here at the Early Pregnancy Loss Association, we are always glad to see celebrities and others in the public eye share about their experiences with miscarriage. When public figures talk about the pain and significance of miscarriage, more people may come to understand its commonality and tragedy. Olympic gold medal-winning gymnast Shawn Johnson and her husband, former NFL player Andrew East, recently released a three-part series on their popular podcast, Couple Things, in which they detail the miscarriage they suffered several years ago. They have also made several YouTube videos about their experience. Part 1 - Our Miscarriage Story Part 2 - Dealing with the Miscarriage Part 3 - Why We Had Mixed Emotions When We Found Out We Were Pregnant The podcasts are excellent, as the couple dive deep into how the pregnancy and miscarriage affected them physically and emotionally. They talk a lot about how the experience changed their relationship as a couple - at first for the worse, and eventually for the better. The Easts now have a healthy baby girl, and their social media pages show lots of photos and videos of her walking at 9 months old! Of course, what else would we expect from the daughter of two professional athletes? ;) Thanks to the Easts for their excellent podcast series and for helping to shed light on the effects of miscarriage. 
Maria Servold is an Editor at the EPLA, Assistant Director of the Herbert H. Dow II Program in American Journalism, and Lecturer in Journalism at Hillsdale College.
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By: Nick Carrington EPLA Editor In a recent interview with Today and an Instagram post, Jinger (Dugger) Vuolo, of “19 Kids and Counting” fame, communicated so much of what we believe at the Early Pregnancy Loss Association. She describes the excitement of telling her family about her baby and the devastating reality of losing that life. She equates the pain of losing her child with the loss of her grandmother, suggesting that both are the death of a precious person. Jinger reflects on the joy of her current pregnancy but admits the pain of her miscarriage has not left her: healing takes a long time. Her words are both painful and cathartic: "Within moments I knew that I’d lost the baby. Tears filled my eyes, sadness cloaked my soul. Having just lost my grandmother months before, the news of new life was like spring lilies blossoming after a dark, cold winter. And in a moment, that life was gone. I know many of you can relate. The minutes feel like hours, the hours like days, don’t they? I was helpless—nothing I could do would restore the lost life. Yet, I was never hopeless." Jinger has relied on her faith for peace. The EPLA recognizes the complex emotions that come with miscarriage and subsequent pregnancies, and we stand to provide as much support as possible for grieving families. We encourage you to read the interview and Jinger’s Instagram post.  Nick Carrington is an Editor for the EPLA and Assistant Professor of Professional Writing at Cedarville University.
By: Maria Servold EPLA Editor In a recent YouTube video, creator “Nurse Zabe,” (Elizabeth) who posts informational videos about pregnancy, birth, and babies, shared her own story of a chemical pregnancy she lost. As a labor, delivery, and postpartum nurse, as well as a certified childbirth educator, her videos are both informative and humorous. This video, while still incredibly informative, is also a sad testament to the commonality of “chemical” pregnancies. As she describes it, A chemical pregnancy is when a woman finds out she’s pregnant with a pregnancy test before her missed period (in other words, very early), and then has a miscarriage. In many other cases, a woman may not know she is pregnant and the miscarriage could appear like a normal period; the woman would be none the wiser. Many in our society would brush off such a pregnancy, citing the extremely early nature of the loss. But any woman who has hoped to become pregnant and has seen a positive result on a home pregnancy test knows an extremely early loss is just as painful as a later one. The video is both informative and moving. Not only does she explain what a chemical pregnancy is and how often they occur (an estimated 75% of miscarriages are chemical pregnancies, she says), she spends the first half of the video talking about how she felt during her experience: the joy at seeing a positive test, the worry when she experienced cramping and spotting, and the devastation when a blood test revealed she was not viably pregnant. Elizabeth notes, “If I hadn’t taken that test, I wouldn’t have known.” This is the feeling many women get caught up in with chemical pregnancies or other early losses. They may debate themselves endlessly: Should I have waited to test? Was I too eager? She also reassures her viewers: “It’s OK to mourn the loss of the dream [of that child].” Videos like this are so helpful to expand education about early pregnancy loss. We applaud Nurse Zabe for sharing her story, and we mourn the loss of her unborn baby. The video is here. 
Maria Servold is an Editor at the EPLA, Assistant Director of the Herbert H. Dow II Program in American Journalism, and Lecturer in Journalism at Hillsdale College.
By: Nick Carrington EPLA Editor On a recent podcast, author and blogger Jasmine Holmes talked about how a miscarriage early in her marriage created a temper and feelings of anger that she hadn’t experienced before. She was already adjusting to life with her spouse and had moved away from her lifelong home; the trauma of losing a child only compounded the stress. She described how her grief brought out things that had been suppressed within her. We should not be surprised. Miscarriage is the death of a loved one, a precious child that parents have longed for and loved. It does not merely disappoint. It stings the soul. A troubled soul can stir up emotions that have remained dormant for years, and as Holmes explains, those emotions may bewilder loved ones. But as loved ones, we have an opportunity to walk alongside the grieving as they battle the demons that are exposed through grief. We should expect that their demeanor will be different, that their personality will change for a while. Parents who have lost a child may not be themselves in many ways. And as we see these effects, we will have many opportunities to extend grace to them. Grace for the anger that bubbles out. Grace for the cancelled plans and long nights. Grace for the texts that never get answered. Grace for the pain they may cause through careless words. It won’t always be easy, but grace is a part of helping loss parents heal. Through grace, hearts are softened, minds are comforted, and souls gain rest even for just a moment. So as we seek to form a community around those grieving a miscarriage, may grace be the norm.
Nick Carrington is an Editor for the EPLA and Assistant Professor of Professional Writing at Cedarville University.
By: Editors
The EPLA would like to wish all mothers a happy Mother's Day. One of our editors, Stephanie Gordon, wrote an excellent post on her blog about miscarriage and Mother's Day. Stephanie writes: "A lot of women don’t feel comfortable telling their stories. Countless women are scared to tell anyone they’ve had a miscarriage for fear of being judged, or that awkward moment of silence when someone doesn’t know what to say. Or they’ll say the wrong thing like, “It happens all the time.” I know, because I've been there. I've lost a baby and it was the most horrific and traumatic event of my life. Luckily, I had Matt, my parents, and close friends to turn to. They let me cry. They let me sit in silence. They didn't ask questions. They made me food. They hugged me. They held me. They let me be angry. They let me heal. They let me talk when I was ready. And each mother’s day I am reminded of my baby that is in heaven." Please go read the entire piece. Can Our Social Media Apps Facilitate Sharing, Connecting, and Healing on the Topic of Miscarriage?3/2/2020 By Stephanie Gordon EPLA Editor If you’ve been following our blog for a while, you know we touch on a wide range of pregnancy loss topics. I was having a bout of writer’s block last week when I was deciding what to write about. So, I reached out to my Instagram followers. I asked them what they’d like to learn about pregnancy loss. In a matter of minutes, responses were coming into my inbox. “Sometimes I feel like my husband is sadder than I am. To me, giving birth to a 10-week-old baby and holding it in my hand for three hours was some sort of closure. I’m not saying I don’t feel sad anymore, because I still have my moments. But now that I’m pregnant again, I have been able to start getting excited for this baby while my husband is just upset we don’t have the miscarried baby in our arms.” I received many messages like this one, and many wanted to hear a husband’s side of pregnancy loss. Some wanted to know how to support their husband during loss. Coping with loss was a popular suggestion. One person wanted to hear about a woman’s experience with a first pregnancy ending in miscarriage and not knowing anything about miscarriage. Someone asked me to write a letter to women who haven’t experienced pregnancy loss. “I’ve been shamed for not having a miscarriage and almost meant to feel unworthy (and like I don’t appreciate it enough) of having a child because I haven’t gone through something like that. I want to be sensitive to the topic because I couldn’t imagine the heartbreak, but I have a hard time talking about miscarriage because I feel like there’s a group of people who have miscarried hating on people who haven’t. There’s a disconnect.” I was surprised by the variety of messages I had received about pregnancy loss, just by the simple act of reaching out. There are so many different loss stories and emotions out there, floating around social media. If you are reading this and feeling alone, I can assure you that there is someone out there who has experienced a similar loss to yours or feels a similar way you do. “My wife just miscarried our first baby. With further digging, we found out the loss was due to blood type. She has an A- blood type and I have A+. The doctors said that it (the loss) was possibly from the baby being A+, and her body thought it was an infection. She was 11 weeks along when we found out.” By simply sharing a story on Instagram, I had people I could instantly connect with on this matter. I guess that’s the beauty of bringing awareness to this topic we are so passionate about here at the EPLA. With sharing and sympathizing, there comes healing. And for those who haven’t experienced loss, they’re interested too. Let’s keep fighting the good fight, because we’re all here out of love.
Stephanie Gordon is a paleo food enthusiast, wife, full-time SAHM of two girls with one on the way, marketing professional, and blogger. You can follow her on Instagram at @stephgordonblog.
By Stephanie Gordon EPLA Editor When it comes to miscarriage, we rarely think about it happening to those in the spotlight. I know I didn’t during my miscarriage. During those moments of suffering, it’s easy to think it’s only happening to you, when sadly, it’s not. Celebrities like Beyonce, Nicole Kidman, Courteney Cox, and Carrie Underwood have all experienced miscarriage(s). With their powerful platform, they’ve helped bring awareness to miscarriage. I’ve rounded up quotes from celebrities that might help make you feel a little less alone. "There are so many couples that go through that and it was a big part of my story. It's one of the reasons I did not share I was pregnant the second time, because you don't know what's going to happen. And that was hard, because all of my family and my friends knew and we celebrated. It was hard.” – Beyonce "I had a really bad experience when I was pregnant with my third. It didn’t work out and I nearly died. So I am like, 'Are we good here or should we go back and try again?'" – Gwyneth Paltrow “We were crushed. Up till then, I thought simply because it was time and I wanted to have a baby, it would work." – Brooke Shields "I was angry at life and at God. Hopefully we can help people understand that there's nothing to be ashamed of. It's such a taboo subject, but it's a very common problem." – Giuliana Rancic “I felt like I failed, because I didn’t know how common miscarriages were, because we don’t talk about them. We sit in our own pain, thinking that somehow we’re broken. I think it’s the worst thing that we do to each other as women, not share the truth about our bodies and how they work, and how they don’t work.” – Michelle Obama “I had had several miscarriages. And when I did, they were never reported. And I would take a couple of days off and go back to work." – Barbara Walters "It kind of shook us both and took us to a place that was really dark and difficult.” – Mariah Carey “I felt so sad and guilty that I had done something wrong to lose this child.” – Shawn Johnson “I’ve always been agnostic about having kids. I don’t feel naturally maternal. I don’t feel this natural draw to motherhood. And I think my response and how sad I felt afterward surprised me. I would not wish it upon anyone.” – Meghan McCain “The grief is all-consuming. It’s all you can think about. It’s like a death is happening inside your body, and you’re also supposed to show up for your child that you have and you can’t really be sad in front of them, and you’re just confused if your feelings are okay or if they’re too dramatic.” – Whitney Port As I was researching these quotes, I knew exactly what these celebrities were feeling. We have similar reactions and emotions. Although heartbreaking, it is comforting that as women, celebrities or not, we all share nearly identical feelings when going through a traumatic, unfair experience. Please know that you are never alone. If you or someone you know needs help, the Early Pregnancy Loss Association is always here.
Stephanie Gordon is a paleo food enthusiast, wife, full-time SAHM, marketing professional, and blogger.
By: Emily Carrington EPLA Founder and President Five years ago my heart was broken and I felt stuck in despair. I had suffered two miscarriages that year and I was entering the holiday season with all of the postpartum hormones and no precious baby. Though I tried, I wasn’t sure I could ever be thankful or merry again. While the pain of my losses remains, this year I enter the holiday season with a heart of gratitude. But it is not for reasons I ever imagined. As the president of the Early Pregnancy Loss Association, these are some things I am thankful for this year:
I know not everyone is ready to be thankful. For those who still feel the weight of grief, I hope that you can find a small reprieve this holiday season. Whether it be a moment of gratitude for a loving family member or a moment of rest and peace related to a happy memory. There will be a day you can be thankful again.
Emily Carrington is a freelance writer, wife, mother, and founder of the EPLA.
By: Stephanie Gordon EPLA Editor If you have experienced miscarriage, you can understand the fear in how you go about day to day life. When I became pregnant with Eloise after my miscarriage, I was obsessed with triple checking ingredients on labels, not painting my nails, even skipping the jump rope at the gym. Sometimes, out of fear, we practice precaution with our bodies and doctor’s appointments. “Would chiropractic harm my young unborn baby?” … “Can my body handle it?” … “Can an adjustment cause miscarriage?” While this post might not focus on miscarriage or loss specifically, I do receive many questions on chiropractic and early pregnancy since my husband is a chiropractor. Precaution and concern are very much commendable, and chiropractic is very much safe during early pregnancy. I sat down with my husband, Dr. Matt Gordon, and he tells us why. Why chiropractic doesn’t cause miscarriage or wouldn’t harm the fetus: The chiropractic technique I use at our office is called the Webster technique. It is a low force and low amplitude adjustment that focuses on treating ligaments and muscles. Think of an adjustment like a yoga class. You can compare it to a direct outcome while trying to change alignment, rebalance spinal muscles and ligaments and bones and joints. It’s completely natural and focused and there’s no danger to mother or baby. Why chiropractic care during pregnancy: Many pregnant mothers I treat find relief during pregnancy, especially as their pregnancy progresses. Chiropractic significantly decreases the chance of back labor and encourages shorter labor times. Adjustments relieve lower back and hip pains, which are most common during pregnancy. If you are having morning sickness during early pregnancy, there are options for that, too. Supplementation and manipulating the stomach and diaphragm might aid the situation. This would be a positive route to consider avoiding an adverse reaction to a pill. When to take precaution: Unless you are on bedrest or if you’re experiencing a lot of vaginal bleeding, strong cramps, or premature labor, an adjustment wouldn’t be advised. If you are completely healthy, chiropractic would benefit your body and growing baby. Be sure to share all information with your doctor(s). I know that after having experienced miscarriage, fear is at an all-time high. I have experienced two successful pregnancies, and I received chiropractic care throughout each from my husband. I will always be an advocate for chiropractic care during pregnancies. So I will say, yes, go! But, I will also suggest listening to your body. Do what feels right. You know best. Share your medical information with your doctor/s so you can receive proper treatment. If you are currently experiencing the gift of pregnancy, I am wishing you lots of love, trust, and a comfortable, aligned body!
Stephanie Gordon is a paleo food enthusiast, wife, full-time SAHM, marketing professional, and blogger.
By: Nick Carrington EPLA Editor “We’re pregnant,” a loved one told me enthusiastically, her smile stretching from ear to ear. Usually, I’d feel unadulterated joy that would burst out of me. But this time, that wasn’t the case. Mixed in with the excitement was that feeling - an anxiety that makes the heart beat faster. I could feel it well up inside me, swiftly ascending through my body. For a moment, I thought it would take over my face and express something I did not intend. But as that anxiety hit my throat, I squelch those feelings, put on a smile, and voiced a hearty congratulations. I didn’t want those mixed emotions; it felt unfair to my loved ones. They had a new son or daughter, a precious gift from God. It should be a time of rejoicing. However, this couple had suffered a miscarriage in the past and major pregnancy complications more recently. Their pain was a wound on my heart that may never fully heal. Later that week, I had time to reflect on those feelings. That anxiety certainly did not mean that I wanted them to stop having children. As I came to understand it, the feeling came from two related places: a fear that my loved ones would lose a child and a fear that I would lose that niece or nephew. Those are legitimate fears. While statistically, mothers are unlikely to have multiple miscarriages, the possibility remains. We just don’t know why many miscarriages happen. Still, in the moment when I learned about the pregnancy, I knew that leaning into the joy was the best response. My loved ones had not forgotten the despair of previous losses. They remembered the tears, pain, and long, broken nights. They remember those children they planned for and wanted to hold. My loved ones did not to hear my concerns; they undoubtedly had the same ones. When we are told of new pregnancies, we should delight in those children. We may rightly feel concerned that history will repeat itself, but in that moment, "take our cues from the family and share in their joy." There is a time to weep and a time to rejoice. I love my nieces and nephews that I’ve lost, and the thought of losing any more fractures my very soul. But let’s not allow past pains to diminish current and future joys.
Nick Carrington is an Editor for the EPLA and Assistant Professor of Professional Writing at Cedarville University.
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