sharing your stories and remembering your children
By: Nick Carrington EPLA Editor
At Hope Blooms, we’ve talked extensively about remembering the children of your loved ones. In the immediate aftermath, that’s easier to do. But as time goes by and the initial pain subsides for loss parents, friends and family may forget to acknowledge the loss.
It happens with every death; when my grandfather died, my family spent a lot of time recounting his jokes, oddities, and warmth. It was cathartic and a way to honor him. We still tell those stories from time-to-time but not with the frequency that we did immediately after his passing.
But child loss is different in many ways than other deaths. The intensity of the grief may decrease, but the grief remains in some form for a lifetime. You may not see the grief as vividly, but it persists, like a scar that doesn’t quite fade away.
For loved ones, we have opportunities to come alongside loss parents for the long haul. That does not mean bringing up the loss frequently, but we can find little moments to remind the parents that we remember and love their children.
So, from time-to-time, send loss parents a gift that shows you remember their children. Write them a note. Bake them a special treat. Do whatever you can to honor their little ones.
Because the grief of losing a child doesn’t end. It intensifies and wanes, but it doesn’t end. Parents who experience miscarriage need our support, and we as loved ones should let them know: your children may not be here, but they are still loved.
Nick Carrington is an Editor for the EPLA and Assistant Professor of Professional Writing at Cedarville University.