sharing your stories and remembering your children
By: EPLA Editors
On Monday we started a series on the burial of miscarried babies. Anyone who has walked through a miscarriage knows that this is a very difficult topic and we understand that things might get uncomfortable.
Our desire is to forge through these murky waters as we look at ways for parents to properly grieve and heal following loss. We hope to empower parents to make the best decisions for their families.
The question of what to do with the remains is difficult. Many mothers deliver their little one at home and are left alone to figure this out. Sometimes the baby is too small to identify as it has only developed as an embryo or fetus. Other parents surrender the remains for testing or they are simply dealt with by the hospital after a procedure such as a D&E.
The article Yes, I Had A Miscarriage and Yes I Flushed on Unexpected Family Outing is an incredibly honest story of one woman who chose to flush the remains of her little ones.
“In my hands was my baby – the size and shape of a small water balloon and the deepest shade of scarlet. Holding my bundle, carefully swaddled in toilet paper, I pushed open the door and leaned out. My eyes frantically searching for my husband because this time I didn’t want to be alone.
Our eyes met and he rushed back to the restroom door. He looked down at my hands and lifted his eyes to meet mine. There, reflected back at me, I saw my fear and my heartbreak and my last grasp at denial. Maybe this was something else.”
We share this article because this is the story of so many women. You are not alone.
"I shuffled out of the convenience store, traumatized by what had just happened. At the time, thinking I was traumatized because I chose to flush. Now, knowing I was traumatized for a different reason.
I was traumatized because having a miscarriage is traumatic."
This article does a gut wrenching job shedding the light on what might be a source of shame for many women. Do not be ashamed, mama.