Fighting Loneliness in COVID Times

By: Emily Carrington EPLA President and Founder

Women and families often describe miscarriage as an isolating experience. Unfortunately, that isolation has only been exacerbated this year by COVID precautions and restrictions. Now, people find themselves grieving alone without even the company of their normal routines and social circles. As we enter the holiday season, it is more important than ever to care for our grieving friends. Here are some ideas how:.

• Send a miscarriage care kit: The Early Pregnancy Loss Association provides large and small miscarriage care kits to women experiencing a miscarriage. One of these care kits can be very helpful to ensure she has sanitary items on hand, reducing her need to run to the store. Miscarriage care kits can be requested via email: [email protected] 
• Order dinner: It has never been easier to send take-out to friends. Many restaurants have adapted to increase their takeout and delivery options. Delivery apps can also help facilitate sending a warm, tasty meal. 
• Order groceries: Like restaurants, grocery stores and delivery apps have made grocery delivery more accessible across the country. Don’t feel like you have to fully stock their cupboards, but send over a few non-perishable items such as soup, nuts, cookies, or granola bars. 
• Send a handwritten letter: The pandemic has only increased our time in front of computer screens. A handwritten letter offers a personal and thoughtful touch that can express extra care. 
• Make something: Perhaps you have used the pandemic as time to knit extra blankets or hats and you don’t know what to do with them. Send one to your friend suffering a loss. Like the handwritten letter, a handmade item can offer a feeling of warmth and closeness. 
• Call or text: It is often hard to know what to say after loss, but calling and texting friends is even more important than ever. If you don’t know where to start, simply reach out with something like: “You have been on my mind. How are you?” 
• Send a care package: A miscarriage care kit is helpful for families experiencing miscarriage, but might not be appropriate for families grieving after a miscarriage. If it has been weeks or months since the loss, consider sending a care package focused on relaxation and comfort. Think about your friend and things they like. Candles, tea, puzzles, journals, warm socks, a fuzzy blanket, or small treats might be a loving way to show you care. 
• Don’t forget the older children: It is likely that if the couple has older children the pandemic has altered their school or childcare situations. This can make it very challenging for grieving families if parents are not able to send the children out of the house. Consider adding activities for older children in the care package. Coloring books, small toys, or sticker pages might occupy the children so the parents can take a short rest. 
• Arrange a safe visit:  even if it is a plan for one in the future. Different state guidelines, family situations, and risk tolerance levels will not make visiting prudent or possible for everyone. But consider ways you might be able to visit safely, even if it is simply getting something on the calendar for a later date as something to look forward to. 

Unfortunately, pregnancy loss does not stop for a pandemic. What are some other ways you have cared for people or have been cared for during this time? 

Emily Carrington is a freelance writer, wife, mother, and founder of the EPLA.