Finally Telling My Story

By: Emily Carrington EPLA Founder

After my first miscarriage I didn’t know what to say.I told my boss to tell people I was sick. When we moved to a new town in the weeks following my loss, I told people I didn’t have any children.

The fact that I had a miscarriage wasn’t necessarily a secret. Our family knew, our close friends knew, people at work and church knew. But it also wasn’t something I talked about. It was the big looming elephant in the room.

I remember wanting to talk about it. It was always on my mind and I like to process things verbally. In our new town, I had a weekly coffee date with new friends, all of them moms. They shared pregnancy stories, birth stories, mom stories, kid stories. All I could think about was the first 11 weeks of pregnancy. I had so much I wanted to share, but I didn’t know how.

Slowly, I opened up in private situations and started to share more, but I still didn’t know how to talk about it. Then I was pregnant again for another 11 weeks and I had a second miscarriage.

I continued to slowly share with those close to me. I worked through my pain by talking. It was all I could think about. It consumed my thoughts and my heart all the time, but I still didn’t know how to talk about it.
Then one day someone asked me to share my story in front of 80 ladies at Bible study. The invitation was freeing. Someone wanted to hear my story. 

I didn’t realize how much I needed the opportunity to share until I started writing out the events of the previous few months. I sat down and the story flowed out of me. My heart was feeling free and my thoughts were finally making sense. Just the activity of writing helped heal my soul.

As I stood in front of those women on a chilly Wednesday morning in the fall, I felt heard. I felt like my story mattered. And I finally felt ownership of my own story. My intention in sharing was to give God the glory for his provisions during my time of suffering, but, even in this, God offered more healing, more caring, and more provision.

Today I invite you to share your story. I want to hear you; we all want to hear you. Your story matters. This blog is a place to share your story.

​If you have a story about early pregnancy loss consuming your heart, mind, and soul, let us know at miscarriagecare@gmail.com. We would love to help you share your story.

​Emily Carrington is the founder of the EPLA and mother to four children.