sharing your stories and remembering your children
By: Nick Carrington EPLA Editor
On a recent podcast, author and blogger Jasmine Holmes talked about how a miscarriage early in her marriage created a temper and feelings of anger that she hadn’t experienced before. She was already adjusting to life with her spouse and had moved away from her lifelong home; the trauma of losing a child only compounded the stress.
She described how her grief brought out things that had been suppressed within her. We should not be surprised. Miscarriage is the death of a loved one, a precious child that parents have longed for and loved. It does not merely disappoint. It stings the soul. A troubled soul can stir up emotions that have remained dormant for years, and as Holmes explains, those emotions may bewilder loved ones.
But as loved ones, we have an opportunity to walk alongside the grieving as they battle the demons that are exposed through grief. We should expect that their demeanor will be different, that their personality will change for a while.
Parents who have lost a child may not be themselves in many ways. And as we see these effects, we will have many opportunities to extend grace to them. Grace for the anger that bubbles out. Grace for the cancelled plans and long nights. Grace for the texts that never get answered. Grace for the pain they may cause through careless words.
It won’t always be easy, but grace is a part of helping loss parents heal. Through grace, hearts are softened, minds are comforted, and souls gain rest even for just a moment. So as we seek to form a community around those grieving a miscarriage, may grace be the norm.
Nick Carrington is an Editor for the EPLA and Assistant Professor of Professional Writing at Cedarville University.