Never Forget, You Are Still A Mom. You are still a Dad.

Note: This post was originally written by Joy for the purposes of Henry Ford Allegiance Health in Jackson, Michigan. It is being published with permission from the author. 

 By: Joy Sterrett, RN.

You may never see your child play t-ball, dance ballet, or ride a bike, but you are still a mom. You are still a dad. You may never get to walk your daughter down the aisle, but you are still a dad. You may never see your dreams for your precious child come to fruition, but you are still a parent.

I wanted to reassure parents who have experienced a loss that they have every right to celebrate being a mother and a father. Regardless if the loss was from a miscarriage, full-term baby, or even a young child, a loss does not strip away the parent title. 

I encourage everyone who has experienced a loss to think of creative ways to commemorate their baby’s life.  Here are some ideas:

• View ultrasound pictures
• View photographs
• Explore the memory box, if you have one.
• Plant a tree in their honor
• Light a candle to symbolize their life
• Write a letter to your baby. Share how much he/she has affected your life. Express how much you love and miss them. 
• Enjoy an activity that you dreamed your little one would participate in.  Watch a ball game, go fishing, all while being mindful of your child. 
• Share a message about your baby on social media, and encourage others who have had a loss to do the same. 
• Donate to your favorite charity in honor of your baby.
• Name your baby.  If you experienced an early pregnancy loss, you probably didn’t know if your baby was a girl or boy.  It’s alright to follow your instincts and give your baby a name. 
• Visit the grave site.

Those who’ve experienced a loss can feel very isolated in their grief. I want to encourage you to look around you. See all of the other families surrounding you.  Remember you are never alone. There are many who have walked a similar path, and there are those who will hold your hand through your journey of grief. Don’t let today be the last time that you celebrate your baby’s life. 

And never forget you are still a mom.  You are still a dad.  

​You may never see your dreams for your precious child come to fruition, but you are still a parent.

Joy Sterret is the Perinatal Beareavement Coordinator at Henry Ford Health Services in Jackson, Michigan.