sharing your stories and remembering your children
Later this month, I will pass a significant milestone - 10 years since my miscarriage. I lost my first baby at nine weeks gestation on September 29, 2012.
There are certain moments I remember distinctly from the early weeks of that pregnancy (my first) and the miscarriage.
I remember the joy I felt when I saw the two pink lines on a positive pregnancy test, and the excitement my husband and I felt when we told my parents.
… being glad I didn’t have much morning sickness, but wondering if that was a bad sign.
… when I began to have some light spotting while at a mall with a friend on Saturday, Sept. 29.
… when later that night I began bleeding profusely and my husband and I rushed to the ER.
… the doctor who treated me, and how he yawned and seemed disinterested while telling me “you’re probably miscarrying.”
… waddling between the bathroom in the ER and my curtained stall, passing large clots and, I assume, my baby’s body. I was never able to recover it.
… the incredibly kind nurse who saw me crying in the ER hallway and gave me the best, most comforting hug I may have ever gotten from a stranger.
… going home knowing my baby was gone.
… 10 days later when I began bleeding profusely again and had to undergo a D&C.
… the nurse I had in the ER before the D&C, and her cute, pregnant belly. She offered to find another nurse if her being pregnant upset me.
… telling my boss to tell my students that I had the flu, so they wouldn’t wonder why I wasn’t teaching for a while.
Most of all, I remember the feeling of emptiness in the days and weeks following my loss.
But - I also remember these things:
…The way my husband took care of me and supported me, even when he wasn’t sure what to do.
…The way my father-in-law (who was in town when I had to make my second trip to the ER) made dinner for several nights, since I couldn’t.
…My aunt telling me I had an angel waiting for me in heaven.
…When I first met EPLA’s founder, Emily Carrington, and how she openly talked about her losses, inspiring me to do the same.
…The first focus group we held in 2016, when we tried to figure out what miscarrying women need and how, maybe, we could help them.
…When Emily asked me to join the board of EPLA and the five of us on the board began building the organization.
…When we delivered our first batches of miscarriage care kits around our city and eventually, the country.
…When we went to a perinatal loss conference and doctors and nurses told us “thank you” for developing the care kits.
Now, 10 years and three live births later, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of that first baby I lost. I’ll never “get over” that loss, nor will I forget some of the painful moments during and after it. But, I also take solace in the fact that I get to help other women through their own losses with the Early Pregnancy Loss Association.
5/28/2023 02:36:40 pm
Hello everyone, I am from Wembley, Britain. I want to write this testimony to tell others and thank Dr. Odunga for what he has done for me. The first 12 years of my marriage I had 5 miscarriages and I was called all sorts of names by my mother-in-law and this made my marriage life very hectic and a burden of sorrow. I contacted Dr. Odunga for help and I will say that he is a very strong and honest man and he indeed helped me solve my problem. I saw his email in a testimony and I contacted him, little did I know it would be the end of all my problems. After 2 days of contact, I received a fertility herb and he told me to use it. The herb worked and my husband even loved me more and bought me expensive things. One afternoon, I went to a nearby hospital and came back home with the positive result of my pregnancy and after 9 months I gave birth to a baby boy. Ever since I contacted Dr. Odunga, my story has been different. I have 3 children at present and I am very happy in my marriage. Please, contact him at email@example.com OR Whats App him +2348167159012 to help you too
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