sharing your stories and remembering your children
EPLA exists to help families suffering from a miscarriage and encourage change in the culture surrounding the topic. Part of changing the culture is recognizing and rectifying the awkward language around the topic. Many loss parents have struggled with how to talk about the baby they lost, both with each other and friends and family. This struggle is captured well, in all its pain and toil, by Kayla Beth Moore in an article in Plough magazine, published earlier this year. The piece describes both the need to talk about her miscarriage and the difficulty of that task:
"No word seems to suit. One reason we are so silent as a society about pregnancy loss is that talking about it is terribly clunky. We are all afraid of saying the wrong thing, and for good reason. The wrong thing hurts, and most things are the wrong thing to say. My husband and I saw this problem early on. We also knew that we had to keep talking about it or our hearts would rot. We promised to each other that as we talked about it, we would always assume good will on behalf of the other person. And so we talked and stumbled in our talking, and hurt each other’s feelings, and forgave each other, and kept talking."
If you’ve felt the strain of finding the right words to talk about your miscarriage or that of a loved one, know you are not alone. At EPLA we would love to hear your story and welcome submissions for our Hope Blooms publication.