Why We Remember Our Miscarried Children

By: Emily Carrington EPLA Founder

In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day on Oct. 15, we reflect on why we take time to remember our miscarried children: 

They lived 
Even if it was only for days or weeks, children lost in early pregnancy lived. From the time of conception there is a new little life inside the mother. This life is worthy of remembering. 

They died 
Miscarriage can be a strange and invisible death. It is hard to understand losing someone you never met. But whether the child was an embryo or a fetus, the loss of life is death. 

They are our children 
We created them, we sustained them, we are bound to them as parents. Many parents start to plan and dream for their kids as soon as they find out they are pregnant. Others might take a while to get used to the idea of being parents. Regardless, the family bond is real and cannot be taken away.  

They are loved 
A mother’s love needs no explanation. She holds her children in her heart, even when she can’t hold them in her arms. 

They are missed 
We don’t remember our children for only one month or one day of the year. We miss them throughout the year when we are reminded of their absence. 

Remembering our babies fosters healing, community, dignity, and peace
In my own experience, taking time to remember miscarried children has allowed for so many benefits. By stopping to reflect on the lives of each of my children I have experienced healing and comfort and I have learned to live with my grief. Remembering my children has also fostered community. I have had the opportunity to come together with other women and families who have walked through loss. Remembering my children also gives their lives dignity, a dignity they surely deserve. And finally,

I have found peace as I move forward in life. One of my biggest fears early after my losses is that my children would be forgotten. But as I take time each year to remember my little ones I see that I need not fear, I carry them with me always.

Emily Carrington is a freelance writer, wife, mother, and founder of the EPLA.