You are a mother

By: Emily Carrington EPLA Founder

To the woman suffering after a miscarriage,

​You may feel invisible, but I know you. I know your tears, your broken heart, and your empty arms.

You hold it together as you go on with life. You blend in well enough at work, school, or the grocery store. But you are burdened every day by this weight. How could something so invisible be so heavy?

What is worse, you might feel like you have to bear this weight alone. You might have lost your little one before anyone even knew. Perhaps you told only a few close friends and family, or maybe you didn’t even have a chance to tell your husband.

You might wonder if any of this is even real.

Dear mama, it was. From the moment life started inside of you, you became a mother. You carried your little one for all of the days of their life.

Do you have any happy memories from your pregnancy? It is OK to think about those. The two pink lines? What about food aversions? How did you tell the baby’s father? Did you tell your parents yet? Were you lucky enough to have a good ultrasound?

I know you have sad memories. These are OK too. How did you find out you lost the love of your life? Was it an ultrasound? Bleeding?  Did you suffer other bodily changes as your body adjusted?

Dear mama, I am so sorry. But know this, this experience was real. Your baby was real. Your loss was real. And your grief is real. You are not invisible.

You are a mother.

And this Mother’s Day know that you are known, loved, and honored. You are not alone.

​From the moment life started inside of you, you became a mother. You carried your little one for all of the days of their life.

Emily Carrington is the founder of the EPLA and mother to four children.